So last winter your freezer conks and you find five whole chickens on the outer edge of thaw and you think they’d probably be fine but you just don’t have the gut-based gumption, so you refreeze and wait ’til windfall apple season and you make the following recipe:
5 whole chickens
3 5-gallon buckets of windfall apples
Boil in cauldron
Stir until repulsive
Let cool overnight
In morning, feed to joyful pigs.