Home of Michael Perry – New York Times Bestselling Author, Humorist, Singer/Songwriter, Intermittent Pig Farmer

Posts Tagged ‘cows’

Department Of Euphemistic Verbing

Dear Virgin Mobile:

Regarding your recent email declaring your apparently unstoppable intent to better “service” me, please understand that where I come from, that’s what the bull does to the cow.

Your friend Mike

Neighbors Got a Cow

Y’know how it is in the country, sometimes you’ll get a call from the neighbor needing some help with unloading a cow. So you get on your tractor (OK, your mother-in-law’s tractor) and you head on over there.

More photos of the cow in transit over here.

Who made the cow? Our own Steve Bateman, who made Transmission Man and also works in less permanent mediums…

I’m That Kinda Cow

Thank you Monroe. I get to see and talk in so many neat buildings. Now I’m driving home.

Before the event I was asked to briefly address a local leadership group by answering some questions. One of the questions was (I’m paraphrasing both the question and my answer from memory): If you were a cow, would you be the cow who would willingly go into its stall, or would you be the cow that has to be coerced into entering its stall?

I told them I would be the cow who wanders out the lane, forgets where he was going, accidentally finds a hole in the fence, and by the time the farmer notices I’m not in my stall I’m three counties away eating cattails in some swamp.

Theoretical Beef

Had a meeting with my wife and my pal Mills last night, planning for this year’s protein projects. Deciding how many meat chickens to raise, how many pigs, and whether or not we’ll be able to pull off raising some beef. As many of you know, I had the same plans for last year but due to my schedule, wound up raising “theoretical beef.” They’re very easy to care for, inexpensive, and you can just go on and on about your operation without ever having to actually drive a fencepost.

If You Missed COOP On The Radio

Thank you to Jim Fleming and Wisconsin Public Radio for the gracious reading of Coop.  It’s a humbling honor to hear that coming out of the radio.  And for two weeks I’ve been running into folks who’ve caught a listen.  One of those things a guy never expected…and as a lifelong cheesehead, even more meaningful.

They’re reading a chapter of Coop on Wisconsin Public Radio every day from now until February 12. If you missed a segment, the five most recent chapters are available here: (not sure for how long).