Posts Tagged ‘things I’ve learned’

You really can’t call yourself a farmer unless you’ve got at least one purple fingernail.

…the tape measure blade slip off the end of the 2×4 when you don’t want it to, but clings tight when you try to shake it loose?

I apparently emanate some invisible force field that prevents the function of “automatic” soap dispensers, faucets, and paper towel machines.  I stand there flapping my hands like I’m conducting Beethoven’s Fifth while absolutely nothing happens.

The reason that air compressor was on sale and cheaper than the rest is because none of the attachments were included.  Not the hose, not the chuck, not the coupler, not the gauge.  Not even the hose.  Pretty picture on the box, though.

I prefer grey over gray but Spell Check* will not allow it.

*Nor certain willful copyeditors.

If they say they will…they might.

Should you find yourself working for a man who repeatedly insists, “money is no object,” by all means get paid up front.

Life is better with sleep.*

*Worth considering prior to having babies at 42.**

**One’s wife would like to remind One that One has been known to snore right through it all.