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Home of Michael Perry – Author, Humorist, Singer/Songwriter, Amateur Pig Farmer

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Posts Tagged ‘auction’

AUCTION ENDS TODAY

Our mostly charity* auction supporting Mike’s hometown food pantry ends today.  Last chance to bid on items here.

*Note so we’re all on the same page: Depending on the provenance of the items, 50% to 100% of proceeds (minus shipping and eBay/MissionFish percentage) will be donated.  Generally speaking, if the item was something like a contributor’s copy, we go the 100% route.  If the item was part of Mike’s collection, some proceeds will be retained for mortgages and pending orthodonture bills.  Percentages are clearly noted in the item descriptions.

Thank you!  Again, auction items are here.

Today’s Auction Update

We’re under 48 hours on the auction (details on why we’re holding the auction here) (view and bid on items here) and a hearty thank you to all who are participating.

For sale in the auction are two copies of Idaho Review.  By way of explanation, I first reprint a blog post from December of 2008:

Way back when Population 485 came out, a New York editor contacted me with kind words and said she would support my writing.  I thought this unusual, as she did not work for my publisher – in fact, she worked for a competing publisher.  But I quickly came to learn that this was simply the way Carol Houck Smith lived, and indeed she put in many kind words for me over the years.

I had the privilege of meeting face-to-face with Carol Houck Smith only two or three times.  She was graceful, stylish and tiny.  But above all, she had a common touch.  She would come down from the glass towers in Manhattan and out here to where the rest of us live as eagerly as if she were attending a black tie event in some grand New York edifice.  In my case, she would put me completely at ease in my scuffed boots and wrinkled t-shirt, speaking earnestly and – I especially loved this – heartily while simultaneously maintaining her old-school East Coast elegance.  Invariably she would discuss your latest work (I saw her do this with writers of all stripes and genres) with such specificity and detail that it became evident she had not only read it, she had read it closely and carried it with her.

I have no special claim on Carol Houck Smith, and we last communicated maybe three or four months ago regarding a book of poetry.  But she advocated for me over the years in ways I greatly appreciate and even more ways I will never know – just as she did for thousands of others.  I am simply grateful to have known Carol Houck Smith.

What I failed to mention in that post is that I once head-butted Carol Houck Smith, nearly becoming the clodhopper that clumsily abbreviated literary history.  With respect for Carol’s memory, that story is told in a brief essay included in the copies of Idaho Review currently available in the auction.

Sneezing Cow Auction Items of the Day

As announced here, we’re holding an eBay auction in support of Mike’s hometown food pantry.  The auction closes on December 8, so between now and then we’ll highlight some of the items for sale.

NOTE: Because there are duplicates of some items, all links go to the general listing so you can select the specific lot upon which you wish to bid.

Usually after Mike (hello, third-person!) performs his artificial bovine insemination routine (!) he performs a piece called ‘The Perfect Cow,” which is an, err-umm, very (obsessively?) detailed description of his Dream Cow.  Then he gets emails wondering if the piece is in print anywhere.  It has only been printed once, and that was in the very issue of Rosebud being offered for sale in this auction.  Bid here. Mike will personalize each copy upon request.  He will happily include some reference to the finer points of artificial bovine insemination.

Book tour t-shirts.  Please note there are several different t-shirts in different sizes.  These were made up for a book tour in which Mike went to Germany to celebrate the German-language release of Population 485.  Partway through the tour I discovered that the German publisher had gone kaput and there as no book.  Had a good time anyway, and sang a song on the same stage as Lemmy from Motorhead (he was there the night before, but still…).  For a full listing of all the other authors on the shirt, go hereMike will gladly personalize the t-shirt using his Special Silver Sharpie.  He will not write anything in German.  Except: kaput or Motorhead (with gratuitous heavy metal umlaut).

Sneezing Cow Auction Items Of The Day

As announced here, we’re holding an eBay auction in support of Mike’s hometown food pantry.  The auction closes on December 8, so between now and then we’ll highlight some of the items for sale.

NOTE: Because there are duplicates of some items, all links go to the general listing so you can select the specific lot upon which you wish to bid.

Going Long: Legends, Oddballs, Comebacks & Adventures (Paper... Cover Art

This collection of stories from Runner’s World magazine includes a piece I wrote about Olympic marathoner Ryan Hall.  I traveled to California and spent time with his family, went to church with him, and spent some time at the Olympic Training Center in Chula Vista.  The essay addresses the intersection of Hall’s athleticism and faith.  I also went for a run with Hall and kept up just fine.  It was just a two-mile run.  And on a recovery day.  He ran real slow.  Plus, I rode a bike.   Bid here. Mike will personalize the book upon request.  He will even happily inscribe “5:50″ (his most recent mile time) just to keep Ryan Hall looking back over his shoulder…

The Capitola Review is a handcrafted, numbered, limited edition publication.  This issue contains the poem, “Critics Say: Wisconsin Poets Obsessed by Weather,” by Michael Perry.  Also lyrics by Mary Gauthier.  This project is spearheaded by the gentle, cafe-friendly, and fabulously-named Richmond Powers.  Bid Here. Mike will personalize upon request…he cannot, however, sign Mary Gauthier’s name.

Sneezing Cow Charity Auction Open Now

Up there where I come from, a one-woman hurricane of helpful named Roberta has established a food pantry that recently expanded to serve my hometown of New Auburn.  With the hope that we can help them out some, we’ve set up a charity* auction on eBay featuring a number of items, from book tour t-shirts to long-lost copies of How To Hypnotize a Chicken.

Over the next few days, we’ll highlight some of the items on the blog, but for now, to view and bid on items, please click here.  Be sure to read the descriptions for each, all of which include an explanatory note from Mike (items will be personalized for winning bidders upon request).

*Note so we’re all on the same page: Depending on the provenance of the items, 50% to 100% of proceeds (minus shipping and eBay/MissionFish percentage) will be donated.  Generally speaking, if the item was something like a contributor’s copy, we go the 100% route.  If the item was part of Mike’s collection, some proceeds will be retained for mortgages and pending orthodonture bills.  Percentages are clearly noted in the item descriptions.

Thank you!  Again, auction items are here.

Auction Addiction

I have written in the past about how my buddy Mills and I have auction addictions.  We enable each other, and not in a good way.  And now that good ol’ roughneck auctions are online…oh my.  I just burned five hours emptying some stranger’s basement (Mills had to “teach” a “class” at “the last minute”) (riiiiiight…).  Based on what we saw online, I thought I was picking up four – maybe five – boxes of things.  Um.  Mills’ Dodge Ram full-size box stacked wall-to-wall.

Details?  Maybe in a book someday.  Will say we can now build our dream home…entirely from used produce crates.

I did finally – finally – get the shop vise of my dreams.

A few produce boxes?  And a vice?  That’s not enough to fill a truck box, you say?  Funny, my wife adopted a similar line of inquiry…

At least I didn’t buy a tractor by accident.  As I wrote back in 2006:

Went to an auction yesterday.  One of those happy/sad days.  Sad because the auction signaled the end of an era, as auctions often do.  Folks at whose table I have dined and yapped many a time.  But happy because I got to wander around in the mud shootin’ the breeze with many Nobbern neighbors.  And I bought my wife a bench grinder.  Yessir.  You think I’m joking.

Been awhile since I’d auctioned, and I had to hone my bid nod.  Buddy of mine says you’re shootin’ for about a 12 degree tilt.  There are other issues: At one point I was about to outbid the feller across the wagon when I snuck a peek and realized it was my Dad.  Y’gotta pay attention.

Best story of the day since it didn’t happen to me: My brother accidentally bought a tractor.  Yes.  Accidentally.  Bought a tractor.  He was standin’ there kinda kickin’ the dirt and someone said how you gonna explain that to your wife?  And he said, “I don’t know, I’ve never had to do that before!”

It’s the morning after.  I just called him.  Let’s just say he’s got a strong and patient wife.  His shop floor is heated, but he didn’t have to sleep on it.

Video version of the tractor story here (at least I think I talk about the tractor).