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Home of Michael Perry – Author, Humorist, Singer/Songwriter, Amateur Pig Farmer

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Archive for August, 2010

Chicken Zen

In Coop, I wrote:

Every time I stack firewood, there is this moment at the finish when I step back and survey the neat row, and a yoga-like calm fills me.

I find myself doing the same thing every time I move the chickens.  Earlier this week I moved them from a scratched-up, denuded patch to a patch filled with wheat and clover.  It was a bigger move than usual and it took me over an hour to get everything repositioned and reset.  But when everything was in place and I opened the coop door and all those birds came spilling out and immediately scattered and set to pecking and scratching and making those quiet contented cluck-clucks, why, I just had to stand there for a while and let it soak in.  Ommm-cluck.

My First Tractor

In Coop I wrote:

The equivalency is not absolute, but I’ll pretty much guarantee you most farm kids remember their first moment at the wheel of a tractor with the approximate clarity of their first kiss.  Me?  Lisa Kettering, beneath a white pine in the moonlight on the road to Axehandle Lake, and: Jerry Coubal’s John Deere B through the gate beside the Norway pine with the pigtail twist alongside the lane out back.  Nicknamed Johnny-Popper because of the distinctive two-cylinder pop-pop-pop of the exhaust, the tractor was a gangly looking machine with tall rear wheels and a slim front end supported by two wheels cambered to a narrow vee.  The steering wheel was mounted in the near perpendicular and stood flat before your face like a clock on the wall.  The square padded seat sat level with the top of the towering rear wheels, so you rode high, with a clear field of vision.  Rather than a foot pedal, the B model had a hand clutch consisting of a slender steel rod capped with a round ball – rather like a solid iron walking stick.  To engage the clutch you fed the walking stick forward; when you wanted to stop you pulled it backward, and the works disengaged with a steel-drum ping! Dad and his neighbor Jerry shared the Johnny Popper back and forth during haying season.  One morning when I was nine years old I went out back to watch Dad rake hay.  When he was done he unhitched the rake and let me ride back with him.  On the return trip, we came to the gate beside the lane and the twisted Norway pine.  Dad got down from the tractor to open the gate as he always did, only this time after he swung it open he looked up at me and said, “Why don’t you take’er through?”  I still remember the offhand way he uttered the words, and how the adrenaline surged through me when I heard them.  I realize now that he was probably anticipating my wide eyes.

The John Deere was a good starter tractor, because you didn’t have to reach any pedals.  The tall hand clutch, the position of the steering wheel, and a broad steel deck between the seat and the steering column made it possible to operate from a standing position – in fact when I was older I often drove standing up if only because I could fantasize that rather than some hayfield in Sampson Township one was navigating the Mississippi in a Mark Twain paddlewheeler.

Back there at that gate, with the John Deere ­going ­pop…pop…pop at low idle, I addressed the wheel with knees trembling.  Reaching down to the gear selector, I ran it through its cast iron maze and into first.  Then, with one hand on the steering wheel and heart tripping, I pushed that hand clutch slowly, slowly ahead until sure enough the green machine was inching forward, and there I was, driving tractor.  The gate was plenty wide but I felt like I was piloting the Queen Mary through a checkout lane at the IGA.  When I passed through the gate – head swiveling left, right, left to make sure I hadn’t snapped the fenceposts – I pinged the clutch out of gear with a combination of exhilaration and relief.  Dad took the wheel back for the ride home and I rode happily on his lap, still his small boy but much taller in my heart.

There’s more to the story, and I got to tell it in My First Tractor, a collection of essays on that very topic.  Contributors include Roger Welsch, Jerry Apps, Ben Logan, Pat Leimbach, and Bob Feller.  Yes, that Bob Feller.

Book is now out and available.

Thank You Rhinelander

Just put the chickens in at (muggy) dusk after making the drive home from Rhinelander.  Thank you to everyone who worked hard to deliver us there, and to electrify the sound, and thank you to everyone working so hard to help the fair make a comeback.  Early reports are good.  It was fun to play while smelling corn dogs, although it may have caused me to transpose a few more lyrics than usual.  Weather was overcast but humid, and by the third song I was sweating like I was baling hay, but I don’t mind sweating a little, because soon enough it’ll be snot-rocket weather again, and anyone who was there knows what I’m talkin’ about.

Above all, we’re just always grateful to see folks in the seats, taking time from their day to listen to the stories and songs.

And a special thanks to Theresa Seabloom and WXPR.

Early Start

Mom gets a half-day trip with a friend, so day begins with 3 year-old in office (she was up by the time I got done with chicken chores).  She announces her favorite colors are purple, pink, and blue, but is drawing a “lemon igloo.”

Easy Does It

Over on The Moose, my old longtime friend Jay Moore just played Merle Haggard’s “Silver Wings” and Ed Bruce’s “You’re the Best Break This Old Heart Ever Had.”  Both Merle and Bruce demonstrating one need not push for power.  Sometimes I require reminding in that respect.

During the intro of “Best Break” that steel note rising to the sky and disappearing always reminds me of an empty stretch of road baking under the sun somewhere Out West and dusty.

Nothing But Rain

And if it ain’t raining, there’s so much humid in the air it might as well be.  We’re in serious jungle mode.  Oats down won’t dry.  On the other hand, if you drop a seed, it’s sprouted by afternoon.  Plusses and minuses.

Deepwater Dialing

Took my daughter AND my cellphone swimming last night.

For the foreseeable future, your calls will not be returned.

And yes, although I appreciate all the tips I’m getting, I’ve tried all the tricks (including the ones that rescued it last time, when I put it in the clothes washer), but it refuses to resurrect.